My hand turned me down
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
