I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
