New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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