I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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