Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
and she was petting her beer can
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
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