ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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