I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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