Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize