I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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