She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
