We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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