Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Randomize
