If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
