Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
