I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
