She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
