i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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