K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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