hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
