Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
