You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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