idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
