I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
