I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
