She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
