More tranny stories later!
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
