I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
