I'm eating all of the evidence.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
We have started to decorate penises.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
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