Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
