I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
