Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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