Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
