All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
