Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
The beer is more important than you right now.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
