oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
The power of my boobs compel you
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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