Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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