Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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