please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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