we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
