Just fell off a train. Bad.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
