I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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