bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize
