he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize