is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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