Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
