office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
They should really pass out barf bags in church
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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