I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
