new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
