please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
