I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
